Thursday, May 21, 2009

Pinoy Jokes

Mabisang Pampalaki

Dalawang mag-barkada nag-uusap:

Mike: Bakit lumaki yung paa ni Amy?

Jun: Sinipa yung punso!

Mike: Eh, bakit lumaki naman yung nguso ni Fe?

Jun: Dinuraan yung punso...O pare saan ka pupunta?

Mike: Iihi sa punso!



Math Class

Teacher: Juan, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa at 5 ulit sa pangalawa, samakatuwid meron akong?
Juan: Taglay na kalandian mam!

Word Translation

Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate
it in tagalog?
PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?
Teacher: very good, translate it in tagalog.
PUPIL: ang guro ko ay maganda, di naman diba?

Inosente

Isang araw sa eskwelahan, tinanong ng kanyang guro si Juan.


Guro: Sino ang bumaril kay Jose Rizal?

Juan: Hindi po ako ang bumaril kay Jose Rizal.

Guro: Juan, di ako nagbibiro. Sino ang bumaril kay Jose Rizal?

Bata: Hindi po talaga ako, peksman.

Galit na galit ang guro kay Juan. Sinabihan nito na dalhin ang magulang bukas.

Kinabukasan........

Guro: Ang anak nyo ay hindi masagot ang tanong ko. Tinatanong ko lang naman sa kanya kung sino ang bumaril kay Jose Rizal.

Tatay ni Juan: Ayyyyy mabait po ang anak ko. Inosente po siya. Hindi po siya talaga ang bumaril kay Jose Rizal.

Tipid

Takbong pumasok ng bahay si Totoy. Pagud na pagod, pero masayang-masaya. Nagmayabang pa sa ina.


"Nay! Nay! Nakatipid ako ng singko pesos."

"Nakatipid? Paano?" tanong ng nanay.

"Aba'y 'di ako sumakay ng dyip. Sumabay lang ako ng takbo. Kaya't nakatipid ako ng limampiso!"

"Bobo ka pala, eh. Kung taxi ang sinabayan mo,
'Di mas malaki sana ang natipid mo!"

Gastador

"Ako ang tumulong sa asawa ko para maging milyonaryo!" pagyayabang ng isang misis sa kanyang mga kumare.


"Bakit, ano ba siya dati?" tanong ng isang kumare.

"Bilyonaryo." sagot ni misis na gastador.

Pinagseselos

Nagring ang telepono.......


AMO: Inday, sagutin mo an telepono baka kabit yan ng Sir mo!!!

INDAY: Si Ma'am talaga...pinapagselos ako!!!

Lotto

MISTER: (SHOUTING!) Honey, mag-empake ka na,

nanalo ako sa lotto.

MISIS: Wow! Anong dadalhin ko?

MISTER: Wala akong pakialam, basta lumayas ka na!

Batambata

MATRONA: Sa palagay mo, mahal, ilang taon na ako?


BINATA : Kung titignan ka ng naka sideview, 18 ka lang; kung nakatalikod naman 16 lang; kung sa tangkad, 14 ka lang. Bale pagnakaharap ka ang total ay 48, sweetheart.

Tatlong Tanga

May tatlong tangang nakahiga sa kama

Tanga1:Ang sikip sikip naman!!!
Tanga2:Tanga ka pala eh tatlo tau d2!!!
Tanga3:Alam koh nah baba ka nga para lumuwag
Tanga2:Cge bababa akoh sabihin nyo nlng pagluwang nah

Bumaba na si Tanga2

Tanga1:oh ayan maluwag nah akyak ka na ulit!!!! Oxygenator raffinate amplexifoliate hydradenoma venotomy rocambole knotter jamah polling.
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